The room is crowded, full of people. People with purpose in their actions, but not in their eyes. They're dressed so sophisticated, each one looking like a character from a film, mingling, busy, engaged but so shallowly.

He walks around, a thorn in a room full of roses, wearing a disguise that fools everyone but himself.

She, too, trying to convince others yet not convinced herself. The mask conceals only so much.

His eyes meet hers for only a split second. But for that split second, the room freezes and the Earth dissolves, and she is the only one he sees.

She catches sight of him too. Something inside her stirrs, wildly, incontrollably, inexplicably. In a moment she feels almost entranced.

In the temporary instant, he takes in her eyes, their emerald green so vivid and alive, fierce under a canopy of lashes. He imagines them looking into his, curious, electric, understanding.

She sees his too, a sandstone brown, gentle and powerful, their contradicting elements fascinating to say the least. She imagines them looking into her, her soul and her being, knowing her.

He sees her neck and her shoulders, exposed in a strapless gown. Her skin like silk over bones, so ladylike, so fragile. He imagines holding her shoulders, kissing her neck.

She notes his shoulders, his arms, his hands. Broad shoulders, strong arms, gentle and deft hands. She imagines him holding her close to him, being so at peace in his protective embrace.

He sees her lips, their perfect shape, tinted a shade of cherry red; the focal point of her face. He imagines kissing them, a finger under her chin, tilting her head just so.

The moment has passed. In an instant, the room is brought back to life. Glasses clink, and voices murmur, rising and falling like waves in the ocean.

He could have made his way over to her. He was alone, as was she. She could have made her way over to him. A simple 'hello', be it timid and shy, would have been something at least. Yet she turned left and he turned right, both of them pretending that they hadn't, just for a second on an inexplicable impulse, imagined spending the rest of their lives together.

Pre-Famine Update.

Just 3 hours and 4 mintues until the 40 Hour Famine for 2011 begins. Tonight at 8 o'clock, I switch off my phone, tuck away my iPod and slip my Mac into it's case for 40 loooong hours. Tonight I make myself a bed of blankets on the floor, and leave my comfy warm bed and chairs behind. And most difficult of all- I give up food.

Just as I did last year, I'll be keeping a journal of my 40 hours, then uploading it onto my blog to share with you all.

Oh, and if anyone would like to donate, here's the link. Please do donate, I've gotta reach $800 this year!

http://www.worldvision.com.au/40HF/ProfilePage.aspx?preferredurl=AnooshaDelpechitra40

Until Sunday, much love and happiness to you all.

Enter Angry Rant Here:

Alright bloggers, that's it. I'm normally rather cheery and dandy, but today I'm just shitty. And I'll tell you why.

I'm sick to death of being taken for granted. I'm sick of being a doormat, being the nice girl that everyone manages to get around. I'm sick of being everybody's shoulder, everybody's best friend, and when I need someone, there's no one there.

I'm tired of caring so much about people who clearly don't care the same for me. I let myself be used. I go out of my way to make people happy, to be there for people, to do things for people, and I don't get anything in return. Not even the mutual feeling.

Sometimes I think it's such a selfish world we live in. Some people are too focussed on their own happiness/success/satisfaction to care about anyone else. Isn't that sad?

It's like that with lots of people; friends, co-workers, family, boys. You're there, and so they milk you for what you're worth, and then leave you when they've gotten what they wanted. Then when they need something, they suddenly remember you, and because you're such a sucker for punishment, you run right back.

I tell myself over and over again that I care too much for people, I do too much for people and I let my life revolve around other people too much. I let people become such a big part of my life that I rely on them to make me happy. But then when they have what they want, or when they've played with your feelings long enough to please them, they're outta there. Then you don't have them there to make you happy, and their absence and they fact that they screwed you over actually makes you sad.

I've been sweet-talked so many times before. Mainly by boys, but also in the friend kind of way. I've been called gorgeous, pretty, sexy, cute, beautiful and every other lovely adjective under the sun by boys. Boys who sweet-talk, just to get something from me. It's like they say it just because it's what they think every girl wants to hear. What, you think it's like "Yeah, I'll call her gorgeous and maybe I'll be in by tomorrow night."? Come the fuck off it, mate. I know how some girls work, and I'm so glad to not be like that. Not anything like that actually.

What I want is for one guy, just one, to say it from the depths of his heart and soul, and mean it with everything he is. Not because he thinks it's what I want to hear, but because it's genuinely how he feels. I want one guy to not have hidden motives, to want me for me, love me for my quirks and appreciate me even in my PJ's. One guy where sex is the last thing on his mind, and I am the first.

Even with friends, sometimes they're so lovely to your face; you do something nice and you're such a good friend. But a week later it's forgotten, and so are you. As soon as the 'cool' people are around, you're not even there. You're good for when there's no one else around, and they don't want to look like a loser. But you're outta there once they find someone else.

I'm over it. I'm over having my heart kicked around by people. I'm over feeling sorry for myself, when I probably just ask for it. From now on, I won't care. I won't be the doormat that everyone walks over, and takes for granted. Sometimes, people just suck. And so I'm going to be self sufficient and independant. I've said it once, and I should say it again; don't ever let anyone else be responsible for your happiness. Be your own happiness, because you just can't rely on anyone else. Nobody really cares.

Wow, that felt good. So unlike me, but so good.

End rant.

Happily Never After?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned with the amount of romantic comedies I've been watching over the course of my recovery period. And the fact that I have the itch to watch even more.

So far, whilst being in bed looking like Kermit the Frog, I've watched Love Actually and What Happens In Vegas, and one third of A Cinderella Story. No doubt I'll finish watching the latter some time this evening.

And maybe I'll even start watching Juno later tonight.

I'm not quite sure what it is with me and love stories lately. Watching people find each other, and fall in love and be happy seems to make me happy. But then the fact that I'm sourcing my happiness from other peoples love is kind of depressing, come to think of it.

When I was little, I used to always fantasise about finding my one true love, and having a pretty wedding and being happily married until we died. I'd watch Disney fairytales and hope that one I'd have something like that. Of course I knew there would never be cute, animated talking animals or perfectly appropriate music playing during a kiss, but some kind of happy ending would suffice.

Sadly now I'm sixteen, still watching Disney movies and rom-coms and still secretly hoping for a happily ever after.

Ugh, what a hilariously pitiful existence I maintain..

Ellie Goulding - Lights (Bassnectar Remix)