Not literally. I mean, today was sunny enough. I mean I need something wonderful to make me happy and inspire me. I dont have that, hence my absence from blogging. You can't write when there's nothing to say, can you? Although that sort of contradicts this entry, seeing as I'm writing about my lack of inspiration to write.
I want to get away. Away from home, this street, this city. I want to drive and drive and drive until I'm almost out of petrol. Then I'll stop in a small town to fill up. The people will be few, but they will be lovely and welcoming. They'll show me new things, and I'll explore. Then I'll keep driving. I'll drive to a beach. A lonely beach. I'll take off my clothes and run nude, because no one will see me. I'll swim. I'll swim until I feel my naturally buoyancy being challenged, and then I'll swim back to shore. I'll put my clothes back on and keep driving. I'll drive to another town, and dine in at a small pub, where the food will be cheap and greasy and satisfying. Maybe I'll have a few drinks with the good folk there, who come- like me- to seek a kind of happiness. We'll drink and sing and drink some more. The world will spin, and I'll be happy to get spun. Then I'll stumble clumsily to my car and sleep a peaceful, undisturbed, re-energising sleep. I'll wake up when the sun streams through the window and warms my eyelids. Not when my alarm goes off.
Then maybe I'll leave my car and walk. I'll walk around, through the town. I'll meet some people. They'll invite me out. They'll take me to parties and shops and festivals. It will be wild and exciting and spontaneous. New people and new things. I'll meet a boy. A breathtaking, amazing, wonderful, sweet, kind, handsome boy who steals my heart and gives life to my soul. We'll do what we want, and go where we want and see everything the world has to offer. We'll sail across the ocean, and hike over mountains. We'll travel the world and when we return, I'll set off alone again, because true love is too fake to be interesting. Maybe one day I'll find him and marry him.
And then I will drive again. I'll drive all the way back. I'll drive fast through empty roads, and sing loudly at the traffic lights. And when I return, magically, amazingly, finally I will be happy.
Oh how the heart yearns for what the mind deems unreasonable. How wonderful it is to dream.
