3 Hours To Go..

It's 9:00pm right now, on the 31st of December, and the year is slowly ending on this side of the world.

Most of this year has crept past me without a sound, and quite frankly I'm ready to treat New Years Eve the same.

I'm just going to let it roll on.

And when I wake up tomorrow morning on the 1st of January 2012, everything will be exactly as it was yesterday, save for the new date.

But at the same time, everything will be completely changed. 2012 will be a fresh year, my blank canvas of life. An official brand new start. That's all I want.

Last year I blogged about not only turning the page, but opening an entirely new book for the new year. And that's what I'll do again this year. As the genius of Foster The People once sung ''How long, I say, how long will you re-live the things that are gone? Now the devil's on your back but I know you can shake him off."

There is so much relevance and so much truth to that. Blind yourself to the things of the past, and see only the hope and possibility of the future.

It is done, and it is over. Embrace what is new.

So the year has moved past me, and I'm willingly going to let the very last few hours do the same. I don't feel like celebrating. Perhaps it could be because of my irritating cold on a summer's day, or maybe it's something a little deeper than that. I don't know yet. What I know is that I'm just waiting ever so patiently and eagerly for the new year to arrive.

Hurry up new year, I'm going to make you wonderful.

Coldplay- U.F.O.

I'm slowly working through that God almighty list of things to do that I posted earlier on. One down, a gazillion more to go..

Thursday Night Art Appreciation.

It's pretty much a proven fact that art just makes you feel good.

Transatlantic.

Keep your promises, I'll keep my heart.

While the distance between us keeps us apart.

Heavier now, and heavier still.

Emotion against my own freewill.

Houdini - Foster The People

Things I Need To Do.

Here is a completely unecessary list of the things I need to do in the coming weeks. Perhaps if I didn't spend time creating a pointless blog post, I could minimize the amount of tasks.

Eh.

1. Finish Cris' letter and surprise gift.
2. Send it.
3. Draft and finish Kav's birthday present.
4. Finish painting the rest of my corkboards.
5. Vacuum and mop bedroom floor.
6. Print out photos.
7. Build Gizmo's new hutch.
8. Finish reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter.
9. Buy new i-Pod earphones.
10. Begin homework from the following classes:

• History
• English
• Media
• Business Management
• Literature
• Psychology.

Yep, that's all my classes.

Oh my. This could quite possibly be the death of me.

And All Of A Sudden The Year Is Gone.

No joke. I blinked and suddenly it's the 27th of December and the year is almost through.

I'm yet to decide whether I'm happy or sad about it. I think I'm happy.

Looking back, 2011 has been a whirlwind year; beautiful, challenging, crazy, heartbreaking and enjoyable all at various times. There were many times when giving up felt like the best option. But I heard somewhere that giving up (in the sense that I'm talking about) is the permanent solution to a temporary problem. I don't want to do that.

By God's grace, mercy and faithfulness I pushed through another year, and God brought into my life the most wonderful and remarkable people, the greatest opportunities and a closeness with Him that I had always been hoping for. For this I'll be eternally grateful.

And now that the year is closing, I feel like I'm able to walk into 2012 with God by my side, ready to take every opportunity, make the most of every moment, enjoy every relationship and journey towards my vision and destiny with God.

Amen to that.

So now it appears that I finally have time to sit down and blog. The past few weeks have been a hectic blur of rehearsals, appointments, birthdays, shopping trips, new school books and uniforms, cleaning, fixing, sorting and preparing. And now finally, a moment of peace.

I'm keeping my dad company at the nursing home where he moved a few weeks ago. The rehab told us he couldn't stay there forever- it's a rehabilition centre, not a home. We couldn't possibly look after him on our own at home, so our only choice was to find the best possible nursing home for him, and pray that it all went well. It was heartbreaking, putting my 55-year old dad into a nursing home with geriatrics, but by the grace of God, the staff are lovely and it's so clean and quiet and peaceful. And best of all, dad likes it.

Unfortunately though, he got himself a chest infection last week and has been coughing and spluttering for a few days now. I'm hoping anti-biotics and rest cures it, because it's no joke. Dad's sick enough- a chest infection could kill him.

But enough on that, let me fill you in on everything you've missed.

So December has already been the busiest month by far. It consisted of rehearsals, to begin with. Rehearsals for our dance performance at Awards Night on the 13th, and rehearsals for the cute little Christmas Carol's Night at church. I was a wise man. That's right, be jealous.

I felt absolutely swamped, having to remember routines and steps, and also lines from the script. I felt annoyed at myself for taking too much on.

The 13th came, and I found myself having a little anxiety attack backstage, even though I thought I had it down pat. When the curtains opened and the lights came on, I was suddenly more nervous. I managed to get most of the dance routine more or less right, but I found myself completely muddled up by the last quarter, so I conveniently shimmied my way to the back row, hoping no one would see me there. I got my act together quickly though, and managed to finally conclude the dance (to my greatest relief). For the final step, we were required to strike a pose however. During the past weeks of rehearsals, I'd been deciding what sort of pose I would choose. For some whack reason, in the spur of the moment, I suddenly got a little cocky and thought I could pull of a pose on one leg, with the other in the air.

I could not.

I didnt fall, but I let my pose go and so I just stood there, on both feet, with one arm in the air. Like an idiot.

But apparently no one saw.

Thankfully, the play went a little smoother than that. My two best friends came to watch, so I hope I did them proud. The idea of bringing the two of them was so that they could keep each other company throughout the duration of my terrible acting.

So I take that back. I probably did not do them proud..at all.

The rest of the month was filled up with days dedicated to Christmas shopping, appointments with lawyers (long story, but dont fret), travels from outlet to outlet to pick up bits and pieces for the new school year, and in between all that, the long, arduous task of cleaning my room.

I've been at it all month. I'm still not finished.

Maybe I'll finish next year..

You're a part time lover and a full time friend,

The monkey on your back is your latest trend.

I dont see what anyone can see in anyone else,

But you.

Cannot Wait.

I'm getting this tattoo, with a cross above it, on my neck in seventeen months.

All This And Heaven Too.

And the heart is hard to translate,
It has a language of it's own,
It talks and tongues and quiet sighs and prayers and proclamations,
In the grand days of great men and the smallest of gestures,
In short shallow gasps.

But with all my education,
I can't seem to commend it,
And the words are all escaping me,
And coming back all damaged,
And I would put them back in poetry,
If I only knew how,
I can't seem to understand it,

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

And it talks to me in tiptoes,
And sings to me inside,
It cries out in the darkest night,
And breaks in morning light.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/florence_and_the_machine/all_this_and_heaven_too.html ]
But with all my education,
I can't seem to commend it,
And the words are all escaping,
And coming back all damaged,
And I would put them back in poetry,
If I only knew how,
I can't seem to understand it,

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

And I would give all this and heaven too,
I would give it all if only for a moment,
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,
But it never makes sense to me at all.

No, words are a language,
It doesn't deserve such treatment,
And all my stumbling phrases,
Never amounted to anything worth this feeling,
All this heaven,
Never could describe such a feeling as I'm having,
Words were never so useful,
So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before.

Forever Young- Youth Group