"The closer my heart is, the further my head is from you-

The more that I need you, the less I can see what to do."

-Lovers Electric

People Share My Heart Amongst Themselves.

I adore people. I don't know how many people can say they fall in love every day, but I can. I fall in love, over and over again, every day. With people. Beautiful, fascinating, breathtaking people.

There is nothing more beautiful than a human being, any human being. The hands, the hair, the skin, the eyes, each so different- no two the same- yet so intricately sewn together by a masterful hand, each a testimony of a life and each a story of their own. Every mind, eye, heart, soul thinking, seeing, feeling, yearning differently. Every person an original masterpiece.

And when you cross someone on the street, or sit next to someone on the bus- you might never speak, your arm may never brush past theirs, you may never even make eye contact- but you suddenly become a small part of their life. You might never know their past or their future, but for a brief moment, you become part of their present. For a brief moment, your lives intersect, and you are a thread in the fabric in each others lives. A small thread, maybe an insignificant thread, but still a thread. Still existing. Isn't that beautiful? You exist in moment of their lives, and they exist in a moment of yours. Imagine how many people have sewn themselves into your life, and how many peoples lives you have been sewed into.

The very essence of humanity is beautiful.

But people become even more captivating when you observe them a little closer. The passion, the vulnerability, the curiosity, the love, the weakness, the hurt, the joy you see in the faces of man. The perplexing ambiguity.

How can you not fall in love with the nakedness, the purity, the beauty of human beings in small moments? Staring out of the window of a train- what are you thinking? There is such a depth, such a weight to their stare. So full of something- but what? What are your thoughts? Where are you going? Are you leaving, or just arriving? What's your story?

Engaged in a book, a quick lick of their finger to turn the page, fiddling with their watch, an expression of agitation as they try to set the right time, choosing a meal from a menu, the small frown on their face, biting their lip, the openness of a drunk, vulnerable, crying, inside and out, the sure hand of a mother and the naive hopefulness of a child.

Even more breathtaking is the way you see those close to you, in small, meaningless moments that- ironically- mean so much.

That look, that openness and vulnerability in the eyes of your best friend, just before she breaks down and cries. That quiver of her lip, that choked sob that pulls at your heart. The absent-minded hum as your mother searches in the kitchen for a jar of this, or a bottle of that, talking wildly to herself as she opens cupboard after cupboard; or the fragility in her face as she worries for the future. What about that silence, that beautiful silence, that follows the fits of laughter shared between you and your long-distance best pal, when you both understand much you mean to each other and how happy you are together. Or your boyfriend, the way he looks at you between teasing you and he says nothing, but you adore that look in his eyes and can't help but wonder what he's thinking when he looks at you like that. His little quirks, his tones, his expressions- you learn them one by one, and you fall for him again each time.

I know I overuse the word 'amazing', and each time I decrease it's verbal, descriptive value but really- people are amazing.

Birdy - People Help The People

Little Silk Ribbons.

Lying in bed and crying is such a nice feeling. When you lie on your back and let the tears roll down your cheeks and drip past your ears onto the pillow under your head, and they feel like little warm ribbons of silk rolling out of your sad little soul. And your chest heaves up and down and the ribbons keep rolling, and you lie on your back with your heart to the Heavens and feel as though maybe if you lie here long enough, your heart will open and let all the sadness come out and dissolve into the air above you and be extracted by the angels somewhere above so they can take it away, and you might cry your soul clear again. And all the while, your eyes get sleepy and you know it's just your body working so hard to get all that sadness out and maybe it's just getting tired, but soon you'll be able to sleep again, when the ribbons cease to roll.

Hormones Suck.

Concrete Wall - Zee Avi

Shisha + yoga + Of Monsters & Men= beautiful Sunday night.

Finally bought an enormous world map yesterday. From now on, I will never be sad again.

A Little Note, Just For You.

To A:

You are crazy. You're so moody and irritable and loud and sometimes a wee bit obnoxious, but oh how I love you. You've become like my left arm over the past eight years- I'm so used to you being there and I just don't know what I'd do without you. Together we are as comfortable as old socks.

To M:

I don't know how you do what you've done all these years, but thank you. You are so good and I just don't have words for it. But I do miss how close we used to be when I was little- we should bake a cake together again soon, like old times. I love you, you strange woman.

Also, I'd love if you could drive me to school tomorrow..

To D:

Well, look at us now. I'm sorry for hating you for fourteen years, but I'm even more sorry that you deserved it. You really ruined us, but God had a plan and he was more than merciful. You're a new person, and I love you. I just wish it didn't take this much to get things right.

To C:

You changed my life. You really did. Meeting you was fate, and you are such a blessing to me- such a wonderful human being. You're the coolest person I know, and I love our relationship. We go together like two peas in a pod, and I have an entire iTunes playlist of songs you've sent me. One day we'll travel the world together, and I plan to love every second of it.

To M:

You're a beautiful person. You really are- your happiness and luminosity is contagious. I'm so happy to have met you, and I really do think our friendship can only grow from here. Even though OMAM didn't work out, we can still get together with tea and cupcakes and listen to their album, cause I can really see that happening. I love that you appreciate books and maps, oh maps! Oh and I love your hair.

To PD:

Thank you for everything you've done for me and my family. You're so crazy and scatter-brained and really just quite odd, but you're a wonderful human being and you give such good hugs. May God bless you with many more good years to come.

To S:

You will go so far in life, and I really hope you do. You deserve the best things in this world, and you don't need anyone stopping you or holding you back. I know things are crappy, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and things always happen for a reason. You're so beautiful and strong. You can move past this, and you always have me to fall back on.

To J:

My gosh you irritate me. Just looking at you makes me angry. Where are you going in life? What are your goals or ambitions? Don't you realise you're just a pretty face (hardly), with nothing else to you? No personality, no intelligence? And how do you sleep at night, while you bitch about so many people behind their backs. You are the most superficial, arrogant, fake and empty person I have ever met.

To M:

You made my life hell, and I will never forget how you laughed at me when I told you I was going to write a novel one day. Fuck you. Don't you dare laugh at my dreams. I will write a novel, and run you over with my expensive shiny car when I become a bestselling author and you still work at McDonald's.

To J:

I saved you for the end, and still I don't quite know what to say. I don't know how or why you like me, or how or why we're together. We are such an odd pair. We disagree on most things, and part of me truly is distraught that you don't like Of Monsters & Men (or any decent music for that matter). But I like you. I haven't quite figured you out yet, but I do, I like you. Actually, I love you. I can't decide whether I saw it coming or not, but I've always come back to you- well, my heart has. I could fancy any boy, but always be drawn back to you. Funny that.

I wish things had turned out differently for you and your family. Part of my heart still hurts for you, is that weird to say? It's true though. But you've done so well. He'd be so so proud of you. You're such a blessing to me, and you're so good to me too. I love being with you.

Oh and I always thought you had such kind eyes, and I still do think that.

My gosh, I've written you a paragraph...

To G:

You've blessed me with everything I have, though I am deserving of none of it. You are so amazing that I have no words to describe it. I pray that you make me more like you and less like me every day, and that you will shine your light through me and help me bring people to you.

Oh, and when I see you someday- I have a lot of questions..

Oh.

I really need to start

baking/knitting/painting/sewing/dra-wing/writing/living

again.

Obsessed.

Where do thoughts and feelings and memories go when they are forgotten?

I'd like to know.

And I'd like to send some there now.

Not I.

God strike me dead if I do.