The Kooks- She Moves In Her Own Way.

So at my show on Monday
I was hoping someday
You'd be on your way to better things
It's not about your make-up
Or how you try to shape up
To these tiresome paper dreams
Paper dreams, honey

So now you pour your heart out
You're telling me you're far out
You're not about to lie down for your cause
But you don't pull my strings
'Cos I'm a better man
Moving on to better things

Well uh oh, oh I love her because she moves in her own way
Well uh oh, oh she came to my show just to hear about my day

And at the show on Tuesday
She was in her mindset
Tempered furs and spangled boots
Looks are deceiving
Make me believe it
And these tiresome paper dreams
Paper dreams, honey
Yeah

So wont you go far
Tell me you're a keeper
Not about to lie down for your cause
And you don't pull my strings
'Cos I'm a better man
Moving on to better things

Well oh oh, oh I love her because she moves in her own way
Well oh oh, oh she came to my show just to hear about my day

Yes I wish that we never made it
Through all the summers
They're keeping us instead of
Kicking us back
Down through the suburbs
Yes I wish that we never made it
Through all the summers
They're keeping us instead of
Kicking us back
Down through the suburbs

But uh oh, I love her because she moves in her own way
But uh oh, she came to my show just to hear about my day
But uh oh, oh I love her because she moves in her own way
But uh oh, oh she came to my show just to hear about my day

Just Another Sunday Night.

Yep, as the title reads: just another Sunday night, solitary and arguably sad. I don't like it. I'm wishing for one Sunday night to play out differently to all the rest. I feel silly though. I'm anticipating a change that may never come. Actually, that sounds a lot like the rest of my life.

I took a nap in the afternoon. I dreamt about dying, and it was actually the most peaceful and serene dream/nap I've ever had. Then I woke up in a foul mood, hating everything and everyone and feeling pathetic, lonely, un-loved and sad. That mood was later consolidated when I made myself a triple layer ice-cream cookie sandwich, ate it, and felt no better.

It soon wore off, the mood I mean. But it came back later.

I overheard my mother and my sister talking about my dad, before all this happened. The way he'd stupidly dance to a song he liked, making a total dag out of himself and embarrassing us. I heard mum remark that it feels like another life, all those years ago.

On Friday afternoon, mum called from work, just to check up on me at home and see what was happening. I remember how dad used to do that. He'd call up from from work, a pointless call, and mum would joke that he never really did any work. I miss that. I miss my old life. The sad bit is, it's not coming back. The scary bit is, I don't know what is coming.

I gave up on doing homework. I can't concentrate and honestly, I don't want to. My mind is elsewhere, and my heart is even further.

And so now, I'm curled up on the living room couch, blogging about my thoughts while watching 27 Dresses. I know that watching romantic movies in my current state is not the best idea. In fact it's a terrible idea. All of a sudden I'm filled with a stupid sense of sadness and longing, wishing my life was some sort of romantic film. It isn't. I just sat through my favourite scene. Jane and Kevin fishtail off the road, and Jane's car gets stuck in the mud. They go into a nearby bar, get drunk and sing 'Benny and The Jets' loudly and awfully on the pool table in front of all the other patrons, but oh you should see their faces. They're so comfortable, so happy with each other. They're being themselves, making fools of themselves. That's what I want.

Then they went back to the car and had crazy sex.

I also watched two of my other favourite scenes. Right after Jane ruins her sisters engagement, she finds Kevin outside. Even though she's angry at him, he cares about her. He tells her he thinks she deserves more than this, and that someone should be caring for her the way she always cares for everyone else.

And the last of my favourite scenes: where Jane realizes she's in love with Kevin, and finds him at a wedding. She gets up on the stage, and makes a little speech which results in her saying something that ends in "and I think I'm in love with you."

I wish it was that easy to say. She put her heart on the line, but Kevin was in love with her too.

Yeah.. I wish my life was a romantic film.

And that's how I've ended my Sunday.

The Kooks - Naive

This Wonderful World.

I found this on a Tumblr that I occasionally visit, and felt relieved that the person who wrote it, along with the person who reblogged it, clearly shares the same feelings as myself.

I always think about all the people in the world. Imagine all of them. All their different lives, their different stories. Billions of individuals, living in a parallel existence. They see the same sun rising, they see the same moon at night. Isn't that amazing? But there are still billions who I'll never know. They wont know of me either.

I wonder about all the different relationships and friendships; all the families. Imagine all the people dying, all the babies being born, all the couples getting married, all the students graduating, all the people having birthdays, all the lovers having their first kiss just as I write this.

I wonder what everyone is doing, right this second. Some where in the world, it's early morning. Someone is getting out of bed to go to work or school. Someone is making breakfast, taking a shower, shaving, blowdrying their hair, finding their missing shoe, stuck in traffic right now. Some where in the world, it's midday. Someone is eating lunch, making lunch, wishing they had a better lunch, and wishing they even had lunch.

Some where in the world, like here, it's late at night. So many people would be sound asleep, dreaming their private dreams, away with their mind while their bodies rest. Someone is out in the city, hitting the clubs, enjoying their youth and freedom. Someone is on the way to work, ready for night shift. Someone is slipping into bed, next to their partner, wondering if they're awake so they can tell them they love them before they go to sleep.

Some where in the world, doctors and nurses are operating on people, saving lives, delivering new ones, fighting for old ones that sometimes dont make it. Police officers are fighting crimes, chasing criminals and protecting us civilians.

I wonder if some where in the world, there is someone like me, sitting on their bed with their laptop and thinking about all of this.

Tomorrow it will happen all over again. The sun will rise and half the world rises with it, living their crazy, different fascinating lives until the sun sets and it's time to sleep, and the other half rises then.

This world is so alive. Isn't it wonderful?

The room is crowded, full of people. People with purpose in their actions, but not in their eyes. They're dressed so sophisticated, each one looking like a character from a film, mingling, busy, engaged but so shallowly.

He walks around, a thorn in a room full of roses, wearing a disguise that fools everyone but himself.

She, too, trying to convince others yet not convinced herself. The mask conceals only so much.

His eyes meet hers for only a split second. But for that split second, the room freezes and the Earth dissolves, and she is the only one he sees.

She catches sight of him too. Something inside her stirrs, wildly, incontrollably, inexplicably. In a moment she feels almost entranced.

In the temporary instant, he takes in her eyes, their emerald green so vivid and alive, fierce under a canopy of lashes. He imagines them looking into his, curious, electric, understanding.

She sees his too, a sandstone brown, gentle and powerful, their contradicting elements fascinating to say the least. She imagines them looking into her, her soul and her being, knowing her.

He sees her neck and her shoulders, exposed in a strapless gown. Her skin like silk over bones, so ladylike, so fragile. He imagines holding her shoulders, kissing her neck.

She notes his shoulders, his arms, his hands. Broad shoulders, strong arms, gentle and deft hands. She imagines him holding her close to him, being so at peace in his protective embrace.

He sees her lips, their perfect shape, tinted a shade of cherry red; the focal point of her face. He imagines kissing them, a finger under her chin, tilting her head just so.

The moment has passed. In an instant, the room is brought back to life. Glasses clink, and voices murmur, rising and falling like waves in the ocean.

He could have made his way over to her. He was alone, as was she. She could have made her way over to him. A simple 'hello', be it timid and shy, would have been something at least. Yet she turned left and he turned right, both of them pretending that they hadn't, just for a second on an inexplicable impulse, imagined spending the rest of their lives together.

Pre-Famine Update.

Just 3 hours and 4 mintues until the 40 Hour Famine for 2011 begins. Tonight at 8 o'clock, I switch off my phone, tuck away my iPod and slip my Mac into it's case for 40 loooong hours. Tonight I make myself a bed of blankets on the floor, and leave my comfy warm bed and chairs behind. And most difficult of all- I give up food.

Just as I did last year, I'll be keeping a journal of my 40 hours, then uploading it onto my blog to share with you all.

Oh, and if anyone would like to donate, here's the link. Please do donate, I've gotta reach $800 this year!

http://www.worldvision.com.au/40HF/ProfilePage.aspx?preferredurl=AnooshaDelpechitra40

Until Sunday, much love and happiness to you all.

Enter Angry Rant Here:

Alright bloggers, that's it. I'm normally rather cheery and dandy, but today I'm just shitty. And I'll tell you why.

I'm sick to death of being taken for granted. I'm sick of being a doormat, being the nice girl that everyone manages to get around. I'm sick of being everybody's shoulder, everybody's best friend, and when I need someone, there's no one there.

I'm tired of caring so much about people who clearly don't care the same for me. I let myself be used. I go out of my way to make people happy, to be there for people, to do things for people, and I don't get anything in return. Not even the mutual feeling.

Sometimes I think it's such a selfish world we live in. Some people are too focussed on their own happiness/success/satisfaction to care about anyone else. Isn't that sad?

It's like that with lots of people; friends, co-workers, family, boys. You're there, and so they milk you for what you're worth, and then leave you when they've gotten what they wanted. Then when they need something, they suddenly remember you, and because you're such a sucker for punishment, you run right back.

I tell myself over and over again that I care too much for people, I do too much for people and I let my life revolve around other people too much. I let people become such a big part of my life that I rely on them to make me happy. But then when they have what they want, or when they've played with your feelings long enough to please them, they're outta there. Then you don't have them there to make you happy, and their absence and they fact that they screwed you over actually makes you sad.

I've been sweet-talked so many times before. Mainly by boys, but also in the friend kind of way. I've been called gorgeous, pretty, sexy, cute, beautiful and every other lovely adjective under the sun by boys. Boys who sweet-talk, just to get something from me. It's like they say it just because it's what they think every girl wants to hear. What, you think it's like "Yeah, I'll call her gorgeous and maybe I'll be in by tomorrow night."? Come the fuck off it, mate. I know how some girls work, and I'm so glad to not be like that. Not anything like that actually.

What I want is for one guy, just one, to say it from the depths of his heart and soul, and mean it with everything he is. Not because he thinks it's what I want to hear, but because it's genuinely how he feels. I want one guy to not have hidden motives, to want me for me, love me for my quirks and appreciate me even in my PJ's. One guy where sex is the last thing on his mind, and I am the first.

Even with friends, sometimes they're so lovely to your face; you do something nice and you're such a good friend. But a week later it's forgotten, and so are you. As soon as the 'cool' people are around, you're not even there. You're good for when there's no one else around, and they don't want to look like a loser. But you're outta there once they find someone else.

I'm over it. I'm over having my heart kicked around by people. I'm over feeling sorry for myself, when I probably just ask for it. From now on, I won't care. I won't be the doormat that everyone walks over, and takes for granted. Sometimes, people just suck. And so I'm going to be self sufficient and independant. I've said it once, and I should say it again; don't ever let anyone else be responsible for your happiness. Be your own happiness, because you just can't rely on anyone else. Nobody really cares.

Wow, that felt good. So unlike me, but so good.

End rant.

Happily Never After?

I'm becoming increasingly concerned with the amount of romantic comedies I've been watching over the course of my recovery period. And the fact that I have the itch to watch even more.

So far, whilst being in bed looking like Kermit the Frog, I've watched Love Actually and What Happens In Vegas, and one third of A Cinderella Story. No doubt I'll finish watching the latter some time this evening.

And maybe I'll even start watching Juno later tonight.

I'm not quite sure what it is with me and love stories lately. Watching people find each other, and fall in love and be happy seems to make me happy. But then the fact that I'm sourcing my happiness from other peoples love is kind of depressing, come to think of it.

When I was little, I used to always fantasise about finding my one true love, and having a pretty wedding and being happily married until we died. I'd watch Disney fairytales and hope that one I'd have something like that. Of course I knew there would never be cute, animated talking animals or perfectly appropriate music playing during a kiss, but some kind of happy ending would suffice.

Sadly now I'm sixteen, still watching Disney movies and rom-coms and still secretly hoping for a happily ever after.

Ugh, what a hilariously pitiful existence I maintain..

Ellie Goulding - Lights (Bassnectar Remix)

Tell me lies,

tell me sweet little lies.

One day, I will marry a man who adores books as much as I do, and we'll dedicate a room in our

double storey weather board house to our collection of books, and call it our library. Then when we're eighty-something years

old, with absolutely nothing to do with our lives anymore, we'll sit together by the fire place at our nursing home,

and read our books until we die.

The only time you should look down on someone, is when you are helping them up.

Bloggers, Watch This Space.

I say watch this space, but what I really mean is check back every few months. It may take me a while to get around to it, but I've decided to post the first chapter of my novel up on my blog once I've written it.

If I hadn't said anything before, well yes, I do have plans for a novel. I wont tell you how it goes and it doesn't even have a name yet, but I have the entire thing planned out from start to finish. I want to post it up so that I can get suggestions and opinions, and find out what people think of it so far. And whether they'd read the rest of it, after reading the first chapter.

It's a little bit of tragedy and a little bit of romance. It has twists and surprises and unlikely relationships. It has humour and raw, realistic emotion. It jumps from country to country, and has an ending so different from the beginning, that you'd think it was an entirely different book.

Regardless of all that, I do hope you like it. If you read my blog, but don't follow, post me a comment on my Facebook link. If you do follow, then post a comment here.

Keep on checking..

''Stars hide your fires. Let not light see my black and deep desires.''

''The eye wink at the hand yet let that be. Which the eye fears when it is done, to see.''

- Macbeth, amazing play with the most memorable quotes.

I have an inexplicable love for geography/maps.

Yay, August!

Happy August everybody!

Almost seven days in, and I'm loving it already. The weather has been so lovely, and everything seems just right.

I made a silent pledge to myself last month, that I would cut out junk food and only eat healthy food for the entire month of August, and see if I could continue it for the next few months. Seven days in, and I'm sticking to my pledge. I've also been having a bottle of water a day, which is making me pee like Seabiscuit, but I feel good at least.

I finally did some shopping today, buying myself some cute little retro headphones and a new purse, like I'd been wanting for months now.

I also spent some of my birthday giftcards, buying myself a book called The Power of One, which I've been told is a very good book, and the prettiest set of white paper lanterns with fairy lights.

They're so beautiful. I love them. And so far, I love August. And since I'm so happy and full of love, here's a bunch of other things I love.

• My new paper lanterns
• The smell of books
• Fuzzy cardigans
• Scented body butter
• Red lip-stick
• Cupcakes
• Tea
• Pandas
• Maps
• People who give good hugs
• Peonies
• The colour orange
• Being kissed on the forehead
• Zebras
• My best friend
• Shakespeare
• Ridiculously high-heeled shoes
• The Police & Fleetwood Mac

Share it 'round, and enjoy your August <3