Bottle-Neck.

Just in case anyone was concerned about my whereabouts or my significant decline in any sort of posts with original substance- don't worry. I'm still here. Kind of.

Every time I open my internet, Jack's House pops up as my homepage and I am continuously reminded of where I would rather be. But of course, every time I open my internet, it is not to blog, but rather to check my work rosters, view my bank account balance (a.k.a, forget my password 200 times and then when I finally gain access, cry about how poor I am), Google answers for homework and copy chunks of text from Wikipedia, and then of course tell the whole of Facebook via my status, about how much I hate VCE.

And finally I have an empty house and a spare minute to say hi.

A spare minute that will soon vanish, and will only return on the 9th of November when my exams end, and then that spare minute will- much to my inexplicable pleasure- become a spare two months. A spare two months of beautiful Summer holidays. But until then, I'm sitting at the bottle-neck.

I'm not quite sure if I made up that term, or whether it's been widely used before me and I'm just a misconcieving, filthy liar. But if I really am the first person to use that term in this sense, or if you just haven't a single clue what I'm talking about at this point, by bottle-neck, I'm referring to this stage of the school year. This stage where everything you have studied for and worked for is finally coming to seem important, and exams are just around the corner and you're just so so close to freedom and relief, but until then, you're in the neck of the bottle and everything is just tight and difficult and restraining and painful and arduous and life-ruining. To say the least.
And although I'm currently only in my first year of VCE, my English exam in approximately seventeen days is worrying me enough to make my hair fall out. Thankfully I'm not sure it's managed to do that just yet, but really, I wouldn't be surprised.

This exam is the 'be all and end all' for me. English has always been my best and my favourite subject, eversince I was a wee lass in prep all those years ago. And on the 1st of November, I have to sit a three hour and fifteen minute exam to prove my knowledge on everything I've learnt so far.

And I am petrified.
Scared to the point of anxiety attacks-
Or spontaneous combustion.
Either seems likely.

And to make matters worse, my worry seems to have eaten my motivation. A few days ago, I sat at my table and wrote some fourteen hundred words for a practice language analysis, but then realised 1. that I had achieved that over the time span of two nights, and 2. that there was no way in heaven or hell that I would honestly be writing fourteen hundred words in one hour, and so I concluded that I had simply wasted my time, hence my newfound lack of motivation.

And now, lo and behold, I think I'm coming down with a cold. Or some sort of illness that just makes me want to frown and sleep.

Oh bloggers, I bet you're longing for the day you don't have to listen to my whiney, study-related posts.  I'm longing for the day I don't need to write them.

Until then, please still love me.